I've had these thoughts written for a little over a year now but decided why not share them here. My past has dark days and still moments when things are hard. Here is where I find my peace...
Can't wait to get to the mountains again this week.
Okay, here it goes…
I have felt that God has put a word on my heart and mind to share with others. Not to complain or feel bad for each other, but to be encouraged and empowered that God is good. Even when it’s hard to sing the words. Even when tears might be falling off your cheeks. That word is Abandoned.
I hope that you have never felt abandoned, but I’m not naïve to believe that many of you have felt or are currently feeling this way. It can be serious and life-changing, or casual but hurtful to you. Abandonment has happened so often anymore that we almost see it as normal. Jesus even felt abandoned before going to the cross. (Mark 15:34). For me, it is something that the enemy constantly throws in my face. To be left (or constantly left out) is one of the worst feelings in the world especially if you are an extrovert like me. I have spent many nights in my bed or on the couch crying out to God. Asking him basically, “why I am not good enough for other people?” (Shout out to @thegracevalentine for writing an amazing book addressing this question).
I cling to the words that Moses spoke over Joshua in Deuteronomy 31:6, “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” Moses had been in the presence of God and knew what that fullness felt like. God then again tells Joshua “I’ve commanded you, haven’t I? Be strong and courageous. Don’t be fearful or discouraged, because the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9) When God promises… rest in those promises. It is so hard when the world sends you other messages and what you are attempting to do is in the minority. But you will receive fullness and blessing by letting God be the one to say, “I am with you” and “You are enough.”
BUT GOD… Seriously, without having to confront this lie I would not have the relationship I have with God today. Worship has become a constant part of my life because I am resting in the promise that He is with me and is guiding my steps. Sure I became a follower of Christ at a young age but confronting these lies head on in the midst of trying circumstances has given me a JOY I never knew was even possible and a beautiful relationship with my Savior. There were so many nights I would listen to “Be Held” by Casting Crowns and just consciously give my heart and life over to God again and again. Honestly who cares what other people think of you if you are walking with Jesus and in favor with Him?! God answers prayers and gives you just what you need (and many times much, much more). I don’t believe any tears I cried were in vain. I know I am not alone, but I want you to know you are not alone either.
God has great things in store for you!
Anyways… this is just what was on my heart. I pray that it encourages one other person. Love you all and thankful for all of you who have been and continue to lift me up in prayer. I'm here to be the same for others.